Stalemate

Phones rings!!!!


Me: Yes! Who’s this?

Wale Gates: Why are you doing this?

Me: Doing what?

WG: I’ve been pressing the door bell for so long; my index finger’s now numb.

Me: And?

WG: Please open the door, it’s really cold out here and you know my wife just kicked me out.

Me: That’s news to me, but a very welcome arrangement

WG: How do you mean?

Me: One stupid woman just became wiser

WG: Very funny, but why are you talking like this anyway? Have you been waiting for this all the time?

Me: How?

WG: Please just open the door jo; I’m sure you can tell from my voice the horrendous weather is taking its toll on me

Me: The pints of liquor consumed earlier you mean?

WG: (interrupting) won’t you open the door?

Me: Nop!

WG: Why are you so heartless?

Me: Thanks for stating the obvious. Tell me something I don’ know

WG: OK, I’m sorry, I repudiate the earlier statement.

Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence, might work some other time.

WG: But what's your problem?

Me: Problem? From what I've gathered you've just been kicked out by your spouse, you're drunk to stupor and stranded in the mean, cold streets of London. Now that, my friend is a big big problem!

WG: You mean you will leave your brother to loaf around the streets of London?

Me: Even if my father was a promiscuous man and a stark illiterate, he’d still count his sons accurately and you, my good friend will still not make the cut!

WG: Preposterous! I can’t believe this men.

Me: Believe what?

WG: That you actually plan to keep me out in the cold

Me: What a wife can do, a relative can do better I guess!

WG: Hen?

Me: The liquor’s now affecting your hearing?

WG: OK, take my phone and charge it for me at least, the battery is getting flat.

Me: Ask a passer-by, there’s a better chance they might help you during your self inflicted predicament. Trust me.

WG: This is not fair!

Me: Then what is? Interrupting my sleep in the middle of the night?

WG: Hah! Please, don’t do this

ME: My girlfriend is on the other line, talk to you some other time.

WG: Wait! Wait!! Wait!!! You mean you intend to hang up?

Me: Yes ke!

WG: Fu@# you! Go to hell! Thank God you’re not god! Ori e o pe! (Click!)…..Hello? Hello? Hello? This guy really hung up sha? Let me try again....... (Sorry, the person you‘re trying to reach is not currently able to accept your call). This guy is cold men, I had better find a place in the tube station to squat and pass for the night before some destitute grabs the best spot